Water Choke
What are your
own roots?
I was
born in Calgary, AB. When I was 13, I moved to Aberdeen, Scotland and lived
there until I graduated from high school. I would say both Scotland and Canada
fortify my roots. Moreover, I would say I've always been a storyteller. Ever
since I was six, I've loved writing folk tales, and making up movies and acting
them out by myself in my backyard. Storytelling is in my bones.
How long have you been involved in theatre, and in what capacity?
I first
got involved in acting at summer camps when I was 7, and in productions when I
was 12. I recently graduated with a BAH in Drama from Queens. There I became
impassioned about theatre and the emotional consequences of incredible theatre.
I was grateful to be involved in many different productions and have the
opportunity to experiment with directing and sound design as well. Queens Drama
is a very passionate arts community and I will always be grateful to know that
environment helped me become the artist I am today.
What inspired
this particular production?
Water
Choke was inspired by my personal experiences and a passion to eradicate and
change toxic masculinity and get conversations started on suicide and male
sexual abuse. When I was younger I was sexually abused, and when I was 14 and
21 I attempted to kill myself. All of my inner pain and conflict came from myself
identification with masculinity, and a constant disconnect from societal
masculinity. The callous, cold, "strong" persona that has been forced
upon boys to be masculine has resulted in suicide and self hatred and no safe
places for many boys to feel human. I believe we need to explore masculinity,
and create safer definitions that represent the broad nature of masculinity for
boys that don't fit the aggressive nature of man. When you look at the
terrifyingly large amount of men killing themselves, I think it is evident we
need to make changes in the way gender is viewed and performed. If it is in the
nature of man to hide from emotional vulnerability, and deny emotional display,
till it bottles up into such aggression that suicide is the only conceivable
option, it is obvious that change needs to happen. Water Choke will hopefully
provoke that change.
What are the
challenges involved?
The
biggest challenge was not being self indulgent. My dramaturg and director, Ray
Jacildo, and I worked very hard to get rid of any self indulgence. Or if there
is anything self indulgent, at least be self deprecating about it. A fear in
creating autobiographical theatre is that it could become emotionally manipulative,
and self validating, which would turn off some audience members. Especially
with Water Choke's subject material, that was dangerous territory. I believe we
were able to make it not self indulgent. Another challenge was to not romanticize
suicide. I am quite a vicious writer, and I don't like to hold back in my
descriptions of experiences. However, in my anger towards most of the media
communicating that individuals who were suicidal were weak and disturbed, I
wrote stories of the strength behind suicidal individuals. In that, I may have
romanticized suicide. My friends were able to help me with realizing that, and
I tried to offer other perspectives and change stories around to create empathy
and not romanticization.
What are the rewards?
The
process of creating and performing Water Choke has been very therapeutic
for me and great reward. After every performance, I feel more like a survivor
of sexual abuse and suicide. Additionally, if this show can help anyone else
restory and redefine their experiences and find hope then that will be a
wonderful reward! I hope that every survivor can strive towards post traumatic
growth.
What can audiences expect during the run?
I hope
that if anything, Water Choke will provoke catharsis, and conversations. Let's
start the mental health dialogue. Let's start focusing on post traumatic
growth. And mostly, let's redefine masculinity to be more accepting and
safer. Water Choke will make you think and feel. Water Choke drowns, but
also breathes. It will be an emotional journey.
What are your
thoughts on the state of theatre in Canada?
Theatre
in Canada is becoming invigorating, passionate, and exciting. In
Toronto alone, I've noticed tons of interesting theatre companies constantly
grappling at redefining theatre and performance. I think the Fringe is an
exciting place to see where theatre in Canada is heading. Most importantly, the
more we push ourselves to explore and complicate, theatre will always be
important. I think Canada is a fantastic place for theatre artists to
explore.
What's next on your creative agenda?
I've made
a short film about male sexual abuse, Process, that I'm submitting to numerous
film festivals so I'm excited to see where that takes me. Additionally, I'm
excited to see what happens next with Water Choke. I'm interested in trying to
develop versions of it to tour to universities and high schools to start the
mental health and masculinity conversations. Finally, this next year I'm going
to be doing a lot more writing and might try writing another show. And in the
future, I want to go into drama therapy, and help people create their own
"Water Chokes", using theatre to find hope, post traumatic growth,
and using story to redefine personal trauma.
September
7 - The
Living Room @ 2:00 PM / 9:00 PM
September 9 - The Living Room @ 10:50 PM
September 10 - The Living Room @ 10:55 PM
September 11 - The Living Room @ 6:20 PM
September 12 - The Living Room @ 6:15 PM
September 13 - The Living Room @ 8:00 PM
September 9 - The Living Room @ 10:50 PM
September 10 - The Living Room @ 10:55 PM
September 11 - The Living Room @ 6:20 PM
September 12 - The Living Room @ 6:15 PM
September 13 - The Living Room @ 8:00 PM
