Benevolence now, a spaciousness between us, t he capacity to chat and laugh on the phone, going over details and arrangements, mutual friends arriving tomorrow. The ancient enmity and clinging rejection gone, the all or nothing, desire and resistance, gone. A communion devoid of creed. Behind his words, I hear his kitchen door clattering, a female hello. Oh, there's C___ , he says. His girlfriend. His voice limping with sudden tension, nervousness like an old war wound acting up. He knows I don't want him, but worries anyway that I'll be hurt. A kind man, though protecting himself, having been burned by me before. I'll let you go , I say into the phone, meaning it more than I know. ~ Sharon McCartney Sharon McCartney is the author of For and Against (2010, Goose Lane Editions), The Love Song of Laura Ingalls Wilder (2007, Nightwood Editions), Karenin Sings the Blues (2003, Goose Lane Editions) and Under the Abdominal Wall (1999, Anvil Press). In 200...